Emergency Custody

One month ago a series of events unfolded that opened our eyes to the truth of a situation we had always questioned. My fiances ex wife picked their children up after practice. She barely kept her car on the road we later learned. Soon after returning to their house a physical fight broke out between Mother and Daughter. Closed fist and pulling hair, they had to be separated by a grown man. It was after all of this that we got a call from both daughter and Moms boyfriend. Both told of many instances of impaired driving, fights and moving out. Six years this had been going on. Yet we were never made aware of the full extent of their home life. Sworn to secrecy with the threat of foster homes out of state no one said a word. I am not sure which drop of water filled the cup. All I know is that the information flowed like a river from the mouths of all involved. Cys was brought in to question each person. Mom admitted to driving while under the influence of alcohol. You would think that would be enough to remove the children. Well it wasn't. The system failed us in a number of ways. Most of which stemming from the State Trooper who responded to original call. He not only refused to administer a breathalyzer he also refused to take any note of any injuries to the teenager. Injuries that were inflicted on her by her own Mother. We were never told to call the 800# for CPS. Instead we were told that since it was late and a holiday we had to wait til morning to call. This prolonged the process and gave the Mother plenty of time to smooth things over with the children. The only saving grace we have had so far is the fact that the Judge in this case removed them pending a hearing.
The hearing is tomorrow and I am so nervous I could throw up. Every time I think of it my heart sinks past my stomach. I don't want to imagine what would happen if they had to go home to live with her. She is treating this change in custody as a clerical error. Its no big deal is her famous words. There is so much more to this whole story. Manipulation, substance abuse, and child endangerment are just a few. I just hope and pray that we can put all of this across in a manner that makes sense and follows a time line of progression. There is no telling how far this would have gone had we not stepped in. You just never know until you do it. So tomorrow we will walk into that court room and hold faith in the system.

Baggage

I know that everyone comes with a past. Most of those pasts include baggage. I long for the day that we can leave it all at baggage claim. Maybe someone will come along and love it more than we ever did. Maybe if we are lucky enough that baggage will get thrown into an incinerator never to be seen or heard from again. It sounds terrible I know but there are days where that just seems like the only solution. We are stuck dealing with the decisions we made long before we should have been allowed to make any decisions.

Ex's are like the plague I swear. Although, sometimes I would rather bleed from my eyes than to actually have to interact with them. I have a happy care free life. We have no relationship issues what so ever. This is not an exaggeration by any means. We have never had a drop down blow up fight nor have either of us opted to sleep on the couch. For some reason though each of our ex's seem to constantly throw wrenches in the everyday routine. If his ex is not calling and asking for more money mine is calling to say he still has no money. In theory our ex's are perfect for each other. They both are users and manipulators. They sponge off of others until there is nothing left to be had. It is then that they turn on the hand that fed them for years. Living in their own world of delusions where THEY are center of the universe. Neither has ever done anything wrong and will most definately never admit fault in any situation. Both of them are good at playing the victim role at every turn. Since neither one actually is wealthy and have nothing to be used for they would not last long enough for any of us to get pleasure out of it. A girl can dream though right?

Just so sick of bull shit and predictability of the conversations that go on. It did not work so please please move on, grow up, and stop LYIN! You no longer have to impress the other. Focus on your own life and short comings and leave us alone. That is all.

Surprise

I suppose I should fill you in on the events of Labor Day weekend! I didn't want to mention it for fear my mother would hear about my plans and ruin the surprise. To bad that didn't go as planned. She ruined the surprise anyways by showing up early to her own surprise birthday party. She turned 50 on Sept 1st. I invited all of her friends. Which really consisted mostly of my own friends. Its not my fault she doesn't have any friends! Thankfully my sister and I have birthed a small army. They were all hidden in the tree line around my house when she pulled up. Thanks to my brother calling me to tell me she was mere feet from my house. All the kids jumped out of the woods and yelled Happy Birthday as she stepped out of the car. I imagine that is what would have happened in Munchkin Land had it been Dorthys birthday that fateful day she dropped her house on my sister I mean the wicked witch of the East. Just kidding Kel you know your my favorite sister. Even with the surprise slightly ruined and less effective than I planned it was still a good day. I decorated the house with every over the hill sign sold in the county. As if that wasn't enough I made a few of my own along with name tags for everyone to wear. They always say the first thing to go is your memory. We all stayed up way past our bedtime and laughed til one of us peed our pants. I am not sure who that one person was but I would take a wild guess and say maybe my Mom. I am looking forward to her 100th birthday party. That one will most definitely involve a stripper!

Life as I know it

I am completely settled into my new house. Minus the finished basement. We have yet to do anything in the 1100 square feet of open space. So far I have my bedroom set up in the giant expanse that is the downstairs. Its kinda nice though its like my own house away from the madness that is six kids crammed into the other 1100 square feet. We even added a puppy play mate for my other dog. Things are great and I could not imagine my life any other way.

Fall means cheer and football in this house. Something that was never possible when I worked full time. Now a days I am a full time taxi driver to my kids. Between practice and games I feel like the next two months will be spent in my vehicle. Speaking of which I may want to clean it out LOL. Living out of my car with all these kids tends to get messy. The floor of my car is layered with McDonalds Happy Meal boxes and empty water bottles. Throw on top of that cheer bags, diaper bags, and blankets. I am content with the whole thing though.

This weekend is Labor Day weekend and I am so looking forward to a whole day with my man and the kids. He works so much it is rare he ever has an entire day to spend with us. I will update you on the events of the weekend later. Can't let the cat out of the bag just yet.

Lonely feelings

We are pretty much settled in our new house. I love it out here it is so peaceful and quiet. The neighbors are all friendly and have made it a point to walk over and introduce themselves. So why is it that I feel so alone out here. I mean I have my children here all the time to keep me busy yet I still feel bored. My fiance works long days so I rarely see him. I am left to sit in this big home without another adult to speak to. I do get the occasional visitor, a friend or family member who wants to see the house or borrow something. The new has warn off and that leaves just me. Maybe all this means is I need a hobby or maybe I just need more friends! Perhaps I am just stuck in a rut and need to shake it off and get over it? None the less a friend would be nice once in awhile.

Paint Nailish

My daughters have always referred to nail polish as Paint Nailish. I thought it was just something they did when they were little and would grow out of. I was wrong they are now 9 and 7 and still call it paint nailish and have now passed that word onto my 3 yr old son. I have no doubt that my 1 yr old daughter will also learn this term and use it appropriately. We must own at least 50 different bottles of said paint nailish. They range in color and some are just sparkles or clear coat. We also own many stripers as I call them. They are long skinny brushes that are used more for decals on your top coat than they are for painting the whole nail. I have gotten pretty crafty with these and have started to paint little flowers and shapes on my daughters nails. Last night was no different. My 7 yr old daughter had asked if I would paint her toe nails. I really did not have a choice in the matter but it was nice that she asked. I painted them a sparkly red with white polka dots. I guess my 3 yr old son was just as excited about it as my daughter because he insisted I paint his nails with the paint nailish to. No worries people I did what any good loving mother would do........I painted them blue with white polka dots.

Making a house our home.

I have not posted in over a month. I swear its for good reason. We have spent every free moment searching for the perfect home to raise our family. We are sick of wasting our money on renting. Touring homes with four children in tow is no easy task. Thankfully nothing was broken along the way. We all made it out alive and with a new home. We do not move in until the end of June though. I have alot of anxiety thinking about all the things that we will need. I also have this weird delusion that all of my furniture is overly large and will not fit into our new house. Apparently this is a ridiculous delusion because no one that I have talked to has sympathized with me. At any rate I am super excited and can not wait to move in and settle in. My children are already in love with this place so I am sure once we get there and they get to explore all the trails behind the house they will love it even more. Pictures to come later.

Just call him The Saver

A few days ago a baby squirrel was attacked and almost eaten by two dogs passing by. The owner was able to wrestle the it from the mouth of his dogs. He tossed the squirrel back into my yard. Apparently all of my kids and the neighborhood kids witnessed this entire ordeal. Just seconds after all the commotion of children yelling and running both to and away from the injured squirrel my fiance was pulling in from work. After piecing together this almost frantic story from a handful of children he found the squirrel and brought it into our house. I though that this was going to be as simple as calling animal rescue and waiting for them to show up and do what it is they do in this situation. However my fiance had different plans. He was going to nurse it back to health himself.

I was not quite ok with that plan but if you could see the look in his eye. He loved this squirrel probably almost as much as our children. I had to buy a small cage for it that evening. It was either that or it was going to be sleeping in a shirt pocket hung at the end of our bed. Squirrely (that is what my fiance named him) is still here with us. He has recovered from his traumatic accident but is now like one of the family. He plays with the kids and watches tv and is kind enough to eat all the food the kids drop on the floor. He even goes to work with my fiance. They are like peas and carrots. I am sure that he will someday get his animal instincts back and we will have to release him in a tree across the street. Until then he sleeps in flannel shirt pocket that I am currently wearing. He is really starting to grow on me and we will all be sad to see him go.

30 confirmed RSVP's

My step son and my middle daughter are two weeks apart. We treat them like twins in some respects. Especially when it comes to their birthday parties. I have always had them on the same day. I am sure when they get older this will be less acceptable for them. Until then double parties it is. I live directly across the street from a giant park with a convenient pavilion where I have had all of my children's birthday parties. It makes everything less complicated and easier to cart things around before and after the party. Mother nature ruined my plans this year. Who would have thought that they would be calling for a Nor'easter the first weekend of April. Sure as hell not me and the other thirty parents that RSVP for their child. I had no plan B nor did I have enough money to take them to a party place. I looked into hotel conference rooms. No luck. Luckily I was able to get a giant room at the local business college. I went an hour or so early and set the room up to house 30+ kids and almost just as many adults. The night before I baked 65+ cupcakes. We played Limbo, pinata, and the sun came out the last part of the party and the kids were able to play at the YMCA playground. I was not in fear of my safety until we played pinata. As luck would have it that day both my wiffle ball bats were out of commission. The only thing I had left was a metal softball bat. I made sure everyone stayed back out of the danger zone but I had no choice but to lead a small blindfolded child into battle. I had more than a few close calls. I made it out without any injuries. The pinata lasted thru all the kids. So everyone got at least one swing. Then I let my two oldest step daughters take it down. I should have moved faster cause once that candy hit the floor it was like the carpet came to life. Children were everywhere! I barely made it out with my shoes on. After two hours all the parents came to pick up their kids. I am sure more than a few were surprised we were all still standing. We ended out evening by taking all of my kids and my nephews to see Monster Trucks. We had our own private catered box. They all had a blast. It is surely a day they will never forget.

Clothing issues

Today was a hell of a day for getting dressed. I started my morning at 7:30am. I woke up my two oldest daughters for school. They get dressed in their rooms before coming out for breakfast. My eight yr old comes up first. She has on the brown jogging pants that I hate so much. She is still boycotting jeans by the way. Her shirt is two sizes to big and a hideous shade of pink. I tell her for the 85th time that I hate those pants and she just rolls her eyes and continues to the kitchen. A few minutes later my six yr old comes up. She has on a shirt that was once a shirt and is now a bordering on a sports bra. I bring to her attention the fact that I can see her stomach. This only reminds her to yank on the bottom of the shirt in an effort to stretch it back into place. No such luck. When I tell her that it is just to small for her she argues with me. After ten minutes of debating the proper fit of a shirt she decides to change it. Only this time her shirt is also two sizes to big. I am starting to think I should bag up the hand me downs til they almost fit. The girls get on the bus and I think my clothes debates are over for the day. Boy was I wrong!
When I get my baby out of bed for the day she immediately runs to the bathroom door and starts to pull at her pj's. She apparently wanted a bath. Even though she had one less than 12hrs ago. I strip her down and give her a bath. Once she is all clean and done playing I take her out. I lay her down on my bed to dress her and she proceeds to throw a fit. It took me ten minutes just to get her diaper on her. She is still wearing just a diaper as I write this. I guess she is just boycotting clothes all together.
Next I get my son dressed. Everything was going smoothly until we got to the socks. I had a pair of black ankle socks. Before I could put them on he says " NO I want white ones." At first I did not realize he was even talking about the socks. So I proceed to try and put them on his feet. Bad idea! He started yelling and screaming that he wanted white socks. I lost that battle because he has on his white socks. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day in the wardrobe department.

The system is there for the worthless

I learned today that the child support system is there for the worthless. My childrens father was ordered to pay me support almost two years ago. For three kids he was only ordered to pay 213 monthly. Yep thats it grand total for three kids. That breaks down to 50 bucks a week, divided by three is somewhere around $17. I have yet to find a way to make that work and seeing as how I have never received more than a few payments I guess I may never.
Recently I found out that he was working at a tree service place making pretty decent money. They were able to attach his wages and I got a few payments which total $182. The enforcement officer at domestic relations suggested that I file for a modification of support. I was hesitant to do this. I figured why rock the boat at least he is paying me something. Which was more than he had ever done in the past. Eventually I decided to file for the modification. I mean is it really fair to my kids that he constantly goes on trips of of state and has new clothes while they sit home. He obviously had money to shop and go on vacation so why not help with the kids for once.
Today was the modification hearing. It was during this hearing that I learned that he was no longer working at the tree service place. Nor was he working anywhere else for that matter. OH yea did I mention that he did not even show up for this hearing. So there I sat trying to explain to the man behind the desk the cycle of ridiculousness that is my childrens father. He has a history of getting jobs and keeping them just long enough to make some money for himself before domestics attaches his wages. Not to mention his numerous warrants and criminal history. So because he is worthless and more than likely addicted to drugs they can not justify raising his support. Basically since he is to stupid to keep a good job they can not make him pay anymore. I was actually informed that technically he should only be ordered $105 a month since he is not working. WTF! Since when are there rewards for being worthless? So yet again he has slipped under the radar and gets to continue his life as a freeloading dead beat. My next step is to appeal it and go in front of the Judge. Hopefully that changes something. Until then I will still hunt him like a dog to try and collect the $5,600 that he owes me.

Michael Jackson lives!

My three year old son has been potty trained for awhile now. It was pretty easy to do actually. I simply told him one day that we were out of diapers and that he had to start going on the potty. Granted we have had a few set backs since then. For a few nights he had to wear a pull up. That was short lived. Then there was a period of a few weeks where he would poop on the bathroom floor. I still have no idea why but I am thankful he stopped doing that.

His newest issue stems from his recent enrollment in preschool. It is policy that an adult accompany the children to the bathroom. I understand this rule more after seeing some of the children in his class. They are bad and look like they would play in the toilet and possibly carve their name on the stall door. Because of this he thinks that I should take him to the bathroom and wait with him. If he was an only child this may be possible. Unfortunately I have three other kids to attend to.

At first I would try to reason with him and explain how it was just nor possible for me to stay with him the whole time. A week went by and he became increasingly whiny about me not being there. Then out of no where he tells me he can not go by himself because Michael Jackson was in the bathroom. What?! I had to play along. So I walked him to the door and asked him to show me. He opens up the bathroom door and walks over to the toilet and points down in the bowl. Michael Jackson was inside the toilet! He insisted that I flush it before he would even go. Now I do not know where he came up with this but I find it strange and funny at the same time. I have yet to witness Michael Jackson in the bathroom or toilet but this fear has lasted a few weeks. Whats next Elvis?

Terrible Twos a little early...

My fiance has been working alot lately. Sometimes 12 or 14 hrs a day. This makes me feel like a single mom. I am stuck in the house all day with anywhere from two to four children. Individually they don't bother me. It is when you put them all in the same room to play that things get loud and crazy. You would think in a mess of a million toys they would all be in heaven. Not such the case. It seems that there is always one magical toy that captures all of their attention at the same time. Sharing is never an option. Screaming and yelling ensues. I let them fight it out for a minute or two thinking that they will come to some sort of agreement. Sure not! I have to repeatedly go in break it up and decide who should play with what. My baby is the worst of them all. She is a vicious one year old. If she wants something she will attack you until she gets it. Perfect example of this behavior is when my two oldest girls are sitting at the computer desk. No matter what they are doing, whether it be homework or disney.com, she wants to be on the chair with them. There is not enough room for her to sit with them so she does the only thing she can do. Torture and maim. She pinches, hits, pulls hair, scratches and screams bloody murder. Yes she is ONE! Her ridiculous antics don't stop there. She does the same to me and her dad to. I swear she is going thru her terrible twos early. I can't be mad at her though cause she is just so damn cute

Showers were so much easier before kids.

I usually take showers late at night when the kids are all asleep. I learned that this is way less stressful than taking one when the sun is up. Last night I was way to tired to attempt to stand in the shower. I figured maybe just maybe I could sneak one in before the baby woke up. No such luck. So when she laid down for her nap I saw this as my window of opportunity. My three yr old was content playing in his room. I let him know that I would be right next door in the bathroom. Soon after I stepped in the shower he threw the door open. I guess he was eager to inform me that the baby is now awake and complaining from her play pen. No worries though cause she is not tall enough to escape from it. Being the good big brother that he is he offered to go in and talk to her until I was finished. I agreed and not even a minute later I could hear the two of them screaming. I shut off the water and I as I was wrapping myself in a towel I could hear my son yelling "HELP ME HELP ME!" I envisioned the baby having him in a death grip or choke hold. Yes she is that mean. The room is just steps across the hall. I quickly pushed open the door to find my son straddled on the side of the play pen. He had brought in one of his ride on toys to use as a step stool. He has not quite learned yet that things on wheels are not really the best thing for that. It must have moved and he lost his footing. Poor little guy landed right on his man parts. I hope he does not have permanent damage or trauma.

The two sides of the fence

Here we are into the third week of the new year. I have to admit nothing really feels different. It is the same shit just a different year. I am still not receiving any child support from my children's father. Well unless you count the two dollars that was recently deposited on my child support card. Yes I said $2.00! If I split it between the three kids they each get 66 cents. I may need to cut a penny in threes?
On the other side of the world of child support, my fiances ex wife is out to get every half a penny she can. If he works an extra day to get a little extra money she feels she deserves half of it. She has recently stooped to extortion. Manipulating the wording of court paperwork to benefit her. Fortunately for her we can read. Like I said same shit different year.
I long for the day to be rid of our past. My fiance and I are completely and totally in sync with one another. When things like this happen it knocks us slightly off course. I am more of an up front in your face kinda person. He is the opposite, more laid back and non confrontational. This is where we lose our course. I get frustrated that he does not put it all on the table for her. Instead he takes a neutral position and hopes for the best I guess. Slowly but surely he is learning to put his foot down. She no longer has the control over him that she once had but it can still be a little irritating. I think maybe the fact that this whole situation is out my control is what gets me the most. Yet through it all I know that he is the one for me and no matter the drama she brings our way I am not going anywhere.

New Years Recap...

As I told all of you in my last post I was planning on going to a strip club with my fiance. We did make it down there and had a blast. Neither one of us had a drop to drink. We learned that we do not need alcohol to have a good time. Along with not needing alcohol we have also learned that we do not need friends to have fun either. Just him and I went. We drove close to an hour away to see some topless girls "dance". I use the quotations because what we witnessed there was barely dancing. There were only five girls working that night. One girl never took a stitch of clothing off she simply lifted her little black dress and shook her ass. I swear I never saw her face. Girl number two barely had breast but next to girl number three she looked like a D cup. Number three just had nipples! No joke my fiance had bigger ones than her. Four and five were just your average everyday women. They were obviously working to support a child or family of some sort. None of them possessed any skills you would expect a career stripper to have. Either way it was fun and gave us something to do. It is more of a comedic relief than a turn on for either of us. I will say one thing I give those girls credit for having the guts to get up there and do what they do. Some of the other patrons there were ridiculous. I would have definitely stuck my six inch heel in some of those guys asses. I guess that was a difficult task for those girls since none of them had on heels. I am pretty sure one girl wore her ugg slippers. So with all that said what do I do for my fiances 30th birthday coming up in April? How do you top that LOL!