I have never loved my life more than I do now...

While I can not say that my life was terrible from day one it sure has not been the best. I went from an alcoholic father to a worthless boyfriend or two. My mom was always the constant in my life. She has always been not only a great mom but a wonderful friend as well. Despite all the things my dad did to her and put all of us through my mom was always there for us. Yet sometimes I hated her for not getting out of the terrible situation in which we were immersed. I swore I would not do the same to my kids. Yet years later when I had children I found myself there. The father of my first four kids has many issues. I excused them all with very generic excuses that all women use. Finally at one point I just accepted that that was what my life would be like until one of us died. Sad I know but I could not see any other way out of it. I thought since he was the father of my children that should be enough to make it work. But as my children got older I yearned for better for them. I hated living pay check to paycheck. Never having extra money to take my kids to do things or join an organized sport. Hell paying the electric bill every month was a struggle. No one should have to live like that especially when the problem was not that I did not have the money but that the father of my children was sneaking and stealing it to spend on lord only knows what. He was so good at it he started to convince me that I had given it to him or that I would get it back before the rent was due. I mean come on who does that! Why didn't he stress over bills and the kids the same way I did. I started to think maybe I was the one with the problems. Maybe I was the bitch and everything was my fault. I can remember spending days in my house locked away crying because my life had become some empty and dark. I know now that it was some sort of depression. Then one day I woke up and decided I would not allow my children to grow up the way I did with a controlling manipulative person. I told their father that I was done with him and he was free to stay thru the holiday season but then he had to move on with his life. At first he threw a fit and acted as if he couldnt and wouldnt live without me. For a split second I felt pity but then I saw my children standing there in a disheveled home with barely any food in the house and a father that could care less seeing as how I worked 50 hours a week and he worked zero he was the primary care giver. Yet he never seemed to care for the children. Months later I met a wonderful man who I am currently with today and plan to be with forever. I have been with him for almost two years now and I can honestly say we have never really fought. We just fit. Everything about him just clicks well with not only me but my kids as well. Him and I have one child together he does not treat her any different than he treats my children from my previous relationship. I never stess about bills. We are a 50/50 partnership. Whether it be chores around the house, appointments for the kids, or paying the rent he is always there to lend a helping hand. Sometimes he just does it without me asking. I couldn't ask for a better man. I couldn't imagine my life without from this point on. My children for once in their lives have a father figure. Not just a man that donated his DNA. He is there for every birthday party, school event, family outing and not to mention when they are sick. ( I don't do puke lol) The future is bright for us. I wake up everyday with a smile on my face knowing that everything is ok because he is here to help. I can only hope that when my children are grown they can look back on my desicion to leave their dad and say "Thank you mom for wanting and giving us better."