Potty Training 101

My son will be three in just a few days. Yet he had no urge to start potty training. I had to take over and make it a mandatory thing. Buying two different sized diapers gets pretty expensive. It didn't seem like my eight month old had much interest in walking by herself so I just assumed potty training was out of the question for her. I told my son three days ago that he was out of diapers and I was not buying anymore so he had to use the big boy potty. That statement went over better than I had expected. He did not fuss or whine. I was a little less prepared for what was to come in the coming hours. I only owned three pairs of underwear that santa had got him. Glad I wasn't the only looking forward to no more diapers.
The first two hours of training were spent sitting on the little kid potty seat. We continually pumped him full of apple juice. The theory was if he knew what it felt like to pee in the potty he would just get it. After all he is a smart kid. At the two hour mark he finally relaxed and let it loose. We all did the pee pee dance together. He was so proud of himself. I was so excited I texted everyone and posted it on Facebook of course. The celebration was short lived cause ten minutes later he peed a trail around my entire coffee table. Despite my four hundred questions asking if he had to pee. I changed his underwear and started over. Yet a few hours later I found him in the kitchen with a towel next to him soaking up a puddle. For some reason at first it did not click to me what the puddle was from. I searched for a spilled drink or a leaky air conditioner. Once I figured out what was puddled on the floor I felt a little defeated. But I was not ready to give up yet. What else did I have to do that day anyways. Might as well potty train. I am so happy that I did cause it seemed like he was finally getting the swing of things. He told me every time that he had to go potty and my girls and I dropped what we were doing and manned our stations as I called it. The girls watched the babies. Babies meaning mine and my sisters who I was watching for the night. While I ran and threw my son over the baby gate so he could make it to the potty in time. Every drop of pee was a mini celebration. The grand finale was when he actually pooped. The only thing I forgot to teach him was to wipe his butt. Yep you guessed it he just pulled them up which resulted in poop in the underwear. Not enough to make me gag but enough to change them. I was slowly running out of underwear for him. Bed time came just in time. Pull ups it was. That night I didn't sleep good at all I kept getting up to make sure he didn't have to pee. He went pee twice that night and woke up with a dry pull up. Mission acclompished?
The day was going pretty good only one pee accident and thankfully it was not on my couch. Later in the day he went to his room to lay down and fifteen minutes after he went in there I went to check on him. I opened the door and instantly smelled poop. My worse fears were confirmed, he pooped in his big boy underwear. Underwear is not expensive enough for me to wash and save in instances like this. We bagged them up and threw them away. He was sad about it cause they were his new toy story underwear we bought earlier that day. It was part of his prize for doing such a good job the night before. I revoked the best part of his prize (a toy story beach towel) until he could get it together and not poop in his big boys. Day number three and we are doing good. He even attempted to pee outside today with my nephews who have no problem whipping it out and going. It does not matter where they are park, yard, or street they just go. It was cute to see them all lined up around a pine tree. I hope he is completely potty trained by his birthday. That is more of a present to me than him I guess.

Was wondering if they make a medicine that helps you sleep through your childs teenage years?

My daughters are eight and six according to their birth certificates. Ask them how old they are and sometimes the answer varies. My eight year old "feels" fifteen alot and my six year old talks like she is going on twenty. I always dreamed of having all boys girls were never in my plan. I know what my sister and I were like and what we put our parents through. Karma seems to be passing by my house more and more as they get older. My youngest is so calculated almost like she is always planning something. Since the day she was born I would joke how she had mob connections. With each passing year that idea solidifies. One day Big Sal will be at my front door asking to speak with her.
I treat them sort of like twins in a way. I always dress them in similar outfits. I just yell "GIRLS" when I need them for something. As they get older though I am noticing that they have two opposite personalities. My oldest is full of anxiety. She must know every detail of the day before it starts. If something gets changed like a time we need to leave or something that needs cleaned it throws her into a full blown anxiety attack. It is as if at eight she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. We have helped battle these meltdown with the help of list and not telling her of any future plans later in the week. Her social life is exploding. It seems like every weekend she has a friends house to go to. Her appearance has become important to her. She has a very funky ecclectic taste when it comes to clothes and accessories. Mismatched outfits, two different earrings, scarves, not to mention her hair and nails. I have colored her hair with several colors of manic panic and recently we cut it a little shorter than normal. Now she styles her hair so that it hangs over her one eye. (Her younger sister calls that the one eye.) I am not so scared of her becoming a teenager. I imagine she will be the girly girl that happens to dress like a punk rock star of some sort. As for my other daughter I may need to be put in a coma.
A few nights ago my oldest was of course staying at her friends house so as a special treat to my younger daughter I let her stay up late with my boyfriend and I. She must have imagined a fun filled night of playing on the wii. Probably because we always joke that the adults stay up late every night and play it without the kids to kill us. After convincing her that we did not play the wii on thursdays she settled for sitting on the back porch and hanging out while we talked about our days. That was short lived when she told the both of us to stop talking it was her turn. Her stories started out with innocent talks about what was on the disney channel and then it quickly turned. It gave me a glimpse of what life was going to be like in a few year. It was hard to keep a straight face. She began to tell me how a boy named evan in her class said he was in love with her. They are in Kindergarten. I threatened to find evan and beat him down. She wasn't having that. She then defended the story with the fact that she did not love him. I suppose that makes things a little better. The conversation eventually lead to when she was 16 she would have a car and I was going to get it for her. I declined that idea and told her to get a job. She bypassed that idea and went on to tell me of all the reasons why she may be late for her curfew. Yes she already had excuses such as car trouble and her watch broke. What will she come up with in the next ten years in her list of excuses? I don't want to think about it. I just want to find a medicine that will allow me to sleep through the teenage years.

Life could always be worse.

I know that usually I write about my children and their daily endeavors. I guess in a way I still am. My childrens father is your classic example of a dead beat dad. He has not paid me a dime of support. Not that money makes or breaks the definition of a dad but money would not hurt. I take care of my children with the help of my current boyfriend. Aside from the child support issue he still stinks as a father. Before I went to get court ordered custody he would just come and go as he pleased. I did not think this was either fair or healthy for my children. He continually made promises to them that he would pick them up for the weekend or take them some where fun. He did all this knowing he did not have the means or time to do so. Not that he was working and that is what was filling up his time. Honestly I could not tell you what it was exactly that consumed so much of his time. All I know is that week after week he would not show up when he said he would. As a way of covering up for his lack of responsibility his family would come get the kids and take them to their house. He would eventually show up at some odd hour of the night and wake the kids. As if to say "Look I made it aren't you happy to see me?" That routine only flies for so long. That is why I went to court. I wanted it in writing when and where and for how long. It was supposed to cut out some of the drama The first custody order stated that he could get them when and where I deemed fit basically. I was nice and decided that every weekend from friday to sunday at his parents was sufficient. Obviously he did not think the same way I did cause that rarely happened. Once again I went back in front of the judge and told him the drama he was exposing my kids to when he did have them. He would always talk bad about myself and my boyfriend to them. So when they came home on sundays they were cold to us. Almost as if we had done something wrong. The judge decided it was best if he only had supervised visits from a CYS case worker. It was his responsibility to set these up. Something he still has not done to this day. He still calls me every once in awhile and asks how the kids are. Thoughtful right? Wrong! Calling at midnight to check on the welfare of your children is not acceptable. His family does not seem to quite get it either. They like to call him when they have my kids and invite him down to see them. Which as you know now is against the court order. I am ready to say just @#$% it all and cut them all off. We do just fine without any of them.
That is an example of just one dead beat dad out there. I am sure there are plenty more and there is no shortage of women who struggle to make it on their own. Yet some women who actually have a wonderful dad for their kids just can't seem to see it. My boyfriend is a great dad to his two kids. He pays his support, calls them everyday at the same time to see how they are. Not to mention he gets them every weekend without fail. He would love to get them more but his ex won't allow it. To her life is about money and material things. She thinks money buys happiness. If she needs something she thinks she can just call him and demand it. Now if it was something that was really needed he would have no problem but she demands things just so she doesn't have to use her support to actually support the kids. That is her spending money. How else does a woman who works half the year at maybe ten dollars and hour afford a new wardrobe every season. I will tell you how by living off of others. Yet she loves to cry poor and play the victim. She uses her kids as pawns in a game. They are nothing more than an accessory to her. It bothers me even more that she acts like this because of what I deal with on a regular basis with the father of my first four kids. I would love for her to really know what it is like to raise kids all alone. I haven't bought a new wardrobe since my parents took me shopping for new school clothes! My life is all about my kids. With or without their dad in the picture. Don't get me wrong I would love for my children to have a healthy relationship with their dad. Unfortunately that is just not going to happen anytime soon. I suppose it is hard to appreciate the things you have until they are gone. I just hope someday his ex can wake up and see what a wonderful person he is. I have given up hope on my ex. Life could always be worse. She could have my childrens father. I am thankful everyday for the life I have and wouldn't want it any other way. Life has been worse for me and I will never go back to that.

A night at the drive in

Friday we planned on taking the all six children to the drive in that is at least an hour drive from hour house. That planned quickly failed when the tahoe would not start. So we unloaded and unpacked six kids from the car. Plan B was to fix the tahoe and go saturday night. Tahoe fixed, we hoped. Saturday came and again we started the process of packing the car with blankets pillows and concealed outside food. Our hopes soon faded with the first turn of the key. They didn't get any higher with the other thirty turns that followed. Plan C was to borrow a car from a family member. The children and I unloaded the tahoe and transferred everything into the trunk of my car while we waited for car number 2 to arrive. With the arrival of car number 2 we quickly buckeled all six kids into the two cars and headed out to the drive in. After what seemed like forever we arrived at the drive in. The entire ride I was worried we would get there last and miss the start of the movie. Not to mention would there even be two spaces next to one another. The weather forecast of isolated thunderstorms was not one of my worries what were the odds. As soon as we turned into the lot I was relieved to see that we were not the only ones just getting there. There was about five cars in front of us. You would think that paying was a quick process. Not when it is an 80 year old woman. While waiting I had imagined all the conversations she was having with the cars in front of us. "How is your mom?" "Tell her I said hi." "Oh wow are your kiddos getting big! How old are they now?" After all we live in a small tight knit area where everyone knows everyone. Any other day this would not have bothered me but after putting forth such effort to get here and enjoy the night, the thought of her stopping to talk was irritating. Finally it was our turn. She walked up to my window and asked how many and the ages of my kids so as that she could slowly do the mental math in her head. Then she asked me if we had any outside food or drink. I had a flash of my children tellin her "Yes we have chips and the huggies we take to camp." Thankfully they were to focused on getting inside. I quickly responded with NO. There was no way I was paying $3.00 for a box of skittles! Once inside the fence we drove to a spot that allowed us to park next to eachother. The movie had just started. We unloaded and set up the chairs and blankets and pillows and began passing around our outside food and drink. There was a truck of four adults to our left and a couple on a car on our right. The first movie was eclipse. The movie plot gave and array of mixed emotions among my kids. While a few were excited to see werewolves and vampires a few were scared. This made for alot of reassuring that there would be no vampires or werewolves coming to eat anyone anytime soon. To top off the event the isolated thunderstorms had isolated themselves not far from us. It was quite the light show. Although for some reason it didn't seem to alarm the children in the least. At one point I was certain it would pour down rain but it held off. The first movie ended without any real melt downs from any of the kids including the baby. Intermission made for and eventful half hour which seemed like three hours. The baby was over sitting in the car so we set her on the blanket. She has a weird fear of grass. She isn't fond of touching it with her hands. This helped with keeping her on the blanket. The rest of the kids were dancing and releasing all the pent up energy they had accquired during the last movie. I laid on the blanket with my boyfriend and our baby. The children were getting louder and louder. My first instinct was to rally them all and have the inside voice talk. Instead I left them go and hoped that the nieghboring cars would not get mad. The second movie started just in time. I was close to putting them all in the car to go home. I wish I could tell you what the second movie was like but I am way to old for the drive in. I fell asleep. Not sure if the kids made it thru the movie either. The drive home was dark and long. My eyes were still a little fuzzy from my nap. We made it home by 2:30am. The drive in was not as fun as it once was when I was younger. It used to be fun to go and hang out and see friends and act up. I guess it still is fun just in a different way. It was fun to see the kids reclined in the driver seat and working the wipers. Watching them use there blankets as capes and running in circles. This almost seemed to happen in slow motion like in the movies during a flash back. None the less I did enjoy every minute of it. Especially the nap!

Was the zoo always this small?

We took a trip to the zoo yesterday. I think in the days leading up to it I was more excited than my kids were. I was anxious to see the look on their faces as we walked to each animal habitat and honestly I haven't been there since I was a child so I to couldn't wait to see the animals. The day started off early. It involved alot of bowls of cereal clean outfits and finding a match to a shoe. I began to have flashes of home alone. What if in the chaos of getting all the kids ready and loaded into the car we forgot one. So started the repeated counting of children. My baby went with my in laws for the day. As much as I love her I could not imagine taking such a small child amongst the older ones for a three hour drive one way and a six hour walk through the zoo. She wouldn't have remembered it anyways.

My sister finally arrived as we were loading seven kids in the tahoe. After dropping her baby off at the sitter we were on our way. We didn't map quest or google the directions. After all we were born and raised there so even if we missed a turn we should of been able to navigate our way. Not to mention there would be signs? Yea by signs I mean two. There was one right off the exit and one at the zoo. Needless to say we were lost in the heart of the ghetto. First sign you are lost in the ghetto is when you drive past the sickle cell society. We were not stopping for directions. If it had just been me I would have had no problem but with eleven kids I wasn't about to stop and possibly run into a problem. So we kept driving til we got somewhere that looked slightly less run down and googled and tom tom'd for directions. After our fifteen minute detour we arrived at the zoo just as the gates opened. The process of herding eleven kids a stroller and our cooler had started. We looked like a small school or possibly a day care. Which gave me the great idea of the buddy system. Yep we all had a buddy. It was just another thing for my sister and I to yell "GET YOUR BUDDY." The kids all held up pretty good only a few minor melt downs. That was our cue to serve lunch so we took over two picnic tables just outside of the aquarium and passed out the pre packed bagged lunches. Hey with fourteen people it was way cheaper and easier to pack. This to also added to the small school look of our group. It was funny to hear people through out the day tell their two kids to move over cause there was a big group coming. What was not fun to hear was my kids ask me what was on the monkey. I had no answer I just laughed and walked away. Thankfully they quickly forgot about it cause I wasn't about to have "THE TALK" in the middle of the troical rain forest exhibit. We went to every animal exhibit and took pictures and read fun facts. Before I knew it we were back at the gates. It had taken us gour hours from start to finish. To my kids this seemed like all day. To me it went fast. I thought for sure we would be there for the full six hours and even with all that time I had been worried we wouldn't see everything. Maybe the zoo wasn't smaller I was just older and the excitment of the animals was not as big as I had remembered. I am sure when my kids are older and with children of their own they to may have the same question "Was the zoo always this small?"

I have never loved my life more than I do now...

While I can not say that my life was terrible from day one it sure has not been the best. I went from an alcoholic father to a worthless boyfriend or two. My mom was always the constant in my life. She has always been not only a great mom but a wonderful friend as well. Despite all the things my dad did to her and put all of us through my mom was always there for us. Yet sometimes I hated her for not getting out of the terrible situation in which we were immersed. I swore I would not do the same to my kids. Yet years later when I had children I found myself there. The father of my first four kids has many issues. I excused them all with very generic excuses that all women use. Finally at one point I just accepted that that was what my life would be like until one of us died. Sad I know but I could not see any other way out of it. I thought since he was the father of my children that should be enough to make it work. But as my children got older I yearned for better for them. I hated living pay check to paycheck. Never having extra money to take my kids to do things or join an organized sport. Hell paying the electric bill every month was a struggle. No one should have to live like that especially when the problem was not that I did not have the money but that the father of my children was sneaking and stealing it to spend on lord only knows what. He was so good at it he started to convince me that I had given it to him or that I would get it back before the rent was due. I mean come on who does that! Why didn't he stress over bills and the kids the same way I did. I started to think maybe I was the one with the problems. Maybe I was the bitch and everything was my fault. I can remember spending days in my house locked away crying because my life had become some empty and dark. I know now that it was some sort of depression. Then one day I woke up and decided I would not allow my children to grow up the way I did with a controlling manipulative person. I told their father that I was done with him and he was free to stay thru the holiday season but then he had to move on with his life. At first he threw a fit and acted as if he couldnt and wouldnt live without me. For a split second I felt pity but then I saw my children standing there in a disheveled home with barely any food in the house and a father that could care less seeing as how I worked 50 hours a week and he worked zero he was the primary care giver. Yet he never seemed to care for the children. Months later I met a wonderful man who I am currently with today and plan to be with forever. I have been with him for almost two years now and I can honestly say we have never really fought. We just fit. Everything about him just clicks well with not only me but my kids as well. Him and I have one child together he does not treat her any different than he treats my children from my previous relationship. I never stess about bills. We are a 50/50 partnership. Whether it be chores around the house, appointments for the kids, or paying the rent he is always there to lend a helping hand. Sometimes he just does it without me asking. I couldn't ask for a better man. I couldn't imagine my life without from this point on. My children for once in their lives have a father figure. Not just a man that donated his DNA. He is there for every birthday party, school event, family outing and not to mention when they are sick. ( I don't do puke lol) The future is bright for us. I wake up everyday with a smile on my face knowing that everything is ok because he is here to help. I can only hope that when my children are grown they can look back on my desicion to leave their dad and say "Thank you mom for wanting and giving us better."

It can't rain all the time.

I had planned to take the kids to Whipples again today but the sky seemed to be getting darker and darker. So instead we spent the day inside. The kids peeked out of the windows all day insisting that it was not going to rain and that it was safe to go swimming. Somehow I found that hard to believe considering that the weather channel showed different. With all the extra free time we had you would think that we would pack for our over night camping trip. Think again! I just couldn't find the motivation to gather up tents, sleeping bags, and numerous outfits for four children. Thank God for my friend cause without her the process may have never started. My children waited all day for her arrival. Believe me it was not a patient process either. At least once every tweny minutes or so one of the three kids able to talk would ask where she was and how long til she got here. I swear if the baby could talk she would have got in on the rotation of repetitive questioning. She finally arrived a little after four just like she said she would. Which is good cause it renewed faith in my childrens eyes that I was not the liar they insisted I was when I said it wasn't time yet. My friend quickly got down to business and asked the kids to help her with the camping stuff. After a trip to walmart for food and dinner it was time to wind down. Try to tell that to a three year old who is overly excited to see my friend who he calls his aunt. He must have said her name a million times to get her attention so as that she could watch him run jump and dive head first into what I call my expensive living room set that I happen to be fond of. The idea of toddler spit and boogers stuck to it make me cringe and want to grab a damp cloth and a dryer sheet (it is a micro fiber couch). Although all the camping things were neatly piled in my downstairs hallway it seemed like the rain would never let up. Even if it was just for five minutes I could have packed the back of the tahoe. Needless to say I was just able to complete that task just a few minutes ago. Now it seems that the rain has stopped for how long I don't know. All I know is it needs to stay away for just a day. My kids are looking forward to this camping trip and if the rain ruins it they will never let me forget it.

This may help with the early onset Ol' timers...

A few weeks ago I started a journal to help me remember the little moments in not only my life but those of my children. I was doing really well with it until it came to the point that that was just another small thing in my everyday life to forget. Recently I subscribed to follow two blogs one of which being a good friend of mine and another of some random woman I don't even know. Yet somehow the woman who I don't know I can relate to as if I was reading a book of my own life. While the other blog has entries of me and my children. So with that I figured why not write one of my own. For not only my own friends and family but for those out there that share some small thread of commonality with my everyday life.

I have given birth to five of my own children. The first I lost to cancer. Although I am not sure he knows that cause he is still around. I can feel him every where I go as do all my other children. The other four are a handful but the stress of four kids under one roof under the age of eight is lessened with the help of my boyfriend. I also have two step children every weekend. Plus three step kids from my previous relationship. Needless to say things can get pretty hectic at meal time. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I spent the last eleven years working fifty hours a week. Which caused me to miss some of the wonders of my childrens firsts. Luckily I was laid off from my job in January. At first I thought I was going to lose my mind being stuck at home with the children 24/7. As time went on and I came up with a system things got easier and more enjoyable. I love to see the smile on my kids faces every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep. This is something that I missed before. Life is about making memories. Something I was not able to do when I had a full time job. So I am determined to make this the best summer my children have had thus far. So far we have thrown some pretty fun birthday parties and picnics. Gone camping, to lakemont, and are planning a trip to the zoo. Needless to say I will be buying alot of sunscreen this summer.


Oh yea I almost forgot my 8 month old got her first two teeth today!