The system is there for the worthless

I learned today that the child support system is there for the worthless. My childrens father was ordered to pay me support almost two years ago. For three kids he was only ordered to pay 213 monthly. Yep thats it grand total for three kids. That breaks down to 50 bucks a week, divided by three is somewhere around $17. I have yet to find a way to make that work and seeing as how I have never received more than a few payments I guess I may never.
Recently I found out that he was working at a tree service place making pretty decent money. They were able to attach his wages and I got a few payments which total $182. The enforcement officer at domestic relations suggested that I file for a modification of support. I was hesitant to do this. I figured why rock the boat at least he is paying me something. Which was more than he had ever done in the past. Eventually I decided to file for the modification. I mean is it really fair to my kids that he constantly goes on trips of of state and has new clothes while they sit home. He obviously had money to shop and go on vacation so why not help with the kids for once.
Today was the modification hearing. It was during this hearing that I learned that he was no longer working at the tree service place. Nor was he working anywhere else for that matter. OH yea did I mention that he did not even show up for this hearing. So there I sat trying to explain to the man behind the desk the cycle of ridiculousness that is my childrens father. He has a history of getting jobs and keeping them just long enough to make some money for himself before domestics attaches his wages. Not to mention his numerous warrants and criminal history. So because he is worthless and more than likely addicted to drugs they can not justify raising his support. Basically since he is to stupid to keep a good job they can not make him pay anymore. I was actually informed that technically he should only be ordered $105 a month since he is not working. WTF! Since when are there rewards for being worthless? So yet again he has slipped under the radar and gets to continue his life as a freeloading dead beat. My next step is to appeal it and go in front of the Judge. Hopefully that changes something. Until then I will still hunt him like a dog to try and collect the $5,600 that he owes me.

Wedding Fever

Recently I have become semi addicted to wedding inspired shows. I watch them constantly. I feel I know way more about wedding dresses than the average unmarried girl. This annoys the hell out of my fiance. It is the equivalent to baby fever I am sure. ( I had a small dose of that after my last baby. My tubes are tied though so no worries ) So with my new found wedding obsession I was excited to be a part of two weddings. The first is my younger brothers which is next weekend. I am a bridesmaid. The second is a good friend from high school. Hers is tentatively scheduled for 2012. I am also a bridesmaid in hers. Luckily they have the same color scheme and I will be able to wear my dress to both. That is if I still fit in the damn thing in 2012. I am really pulling for them to push the date up a year or so. You would think at my age I would have attended tons of weddings. Nope I have only ever attended one and with these two coming up that makes a grand total of three. I always joke that my friends are whores and that's why my wedding attendance is so low. LOL Why do I get the feeling I am the only one laughing.
So moving on....Last week I went dress shopping with my friend. It was fun for me to help with the process. With help from the Maid of Honor we picked out almost every dress she tried on. Some were more to our liking than hers. But in the end she bought the most perfect dress. Insert Jealous face here! I can not wait to have a ceremony. My fiance is not as enthusiastic as I am about it though. He was married once before. I think it was a marriage of convenience and health insurance policies than love. But who am I to point fingers? None the less I am hoping that after seeing me in my brothers wedding this coming weekend that he will pick up the pace and at least pick a damn date with me. My oldest daughter has caught a bit of wedding fever herself. She plans it almost everyday. From colors to flowers to who is walking with who down the isle. It's cute. No matter what happens though whether a JP wedding or a small ceremony I am just happy to be with my fiance.

Family...

I know it has been a few since I wrote anything down. I am sure everyone (the seven ppl that follow this) is waiting patiently to hear what fun and exciting things have been going on in my life. For those of you who I call or see on a regular basis (all seven ppl following this) you pretty much know.
The most exciting thing that has happened is that my boyfriend is now my fiance. I got a big rock to go along with that title to. I always thought of myself as being single forever in the sense of never having the wedding and husband kind of single. While I have always had boyfriends I never felt that any of them were husband material or that they thought that I was wife material. My fiance has changed that train of thought. We have not set a date nor have we even talked about it we are just content with living on this plateau of engagement status for the time being. However the one thing I do know is that I will not be "all dressed in white" as the story goes. After all who I am I trying to fool. I am no virgin bride. So in true pirate fashion my dress will be red. My daughters are excited although the family tree thing confuses them a little. I am sure in time they will understand who is related, how and the official title of relation. My second daughter seems to think that once we are married my fiance will be her dad and her dad will then be her step dad. Poor girl she is so lost when it comes to family. We try to keep things straight for them but it can get very confusing and difficault.
My fiance comes from an awesome tight knit family. Just this past weekend we attended his Grandmothers 95th birthday celebration. It was an all day affair. Family flew in from all over the country. They treated myself and all of my children like we were their own flesh and blood. I had a good time and miss the days of when I was a kid and had the same such parties with my own extended family. Those days are long gone but the memories remain. I hope my children will carry similiar memories. After all how could one forget what a jersey/louisiana accent sounds like or perhaps a canadian/nashville one. The day turned to night and oddly enough all the 95 year old were still kicking. Music runs deep in the heart of this family. A few members of the family belong to a local band. At sunset they began to set up in the back yard to provide a little entertainment for all of us. But before they started to play they announced that my oldest daughter would be performing a cheer first. I wasn't sure if she would go thru with it. All day she was talking about showing everyone her cheers but would get scared right before she was about to do one. To my surprise she did one! It required audience participation, which everyone obliged and joined it. She was smiling from ear to ear with pride. It was one of those moments that I won't soon forget. I am happy to be a part of this family and even happier that my kids are.

p.s. Lillian is almost walking. I am betting within a week she will be walking all on her own. Currently she takes three or four steps all alone. Once she realizes she is walking she gets excited and falls down. Oh how I love these milestones.

Life could always be worse.

I know that usually I write about my children and their daily endeavors. I guess in a way I still am. My childrens father is your classic example of a dead beat dad. He has not paid me a dime of support. Not that money makes or breaks the definition of a dad but money would not hurt. I take care of my children with the help of my current boyfriend. Aside from the child support issue he still stinks as a father. Before I went to get court ordered custody he would just come and go as he pleased. I did not think this was either fair or healthy for my children. He continually made promises to them that he would pick them up for the weekend or take them some where fun. He did all this knowing he did not have the means or time to do so. Not that he was working and that is what was filling up his time. Honestly I could not tell you what it was exactly that consumed so much of his time. All I know is that week after week he would not show up when he said he would. As a way of covering up for his lack of responsibility his family would come get the kids and take them to their house. He would eventually show up at some odd hour of the night and wake the kids. As if to say "Look I made it aren't you happy to see me?" That routine only flies for so long. That is why I went to court. I wanted it in writing when and where and for how long. It was supposed to cut out some of the drama The first custody order stated that he could get them when and where I deemed fit basically. I was nice and decided that every weekend from friday to sunday at his parents was sufficient. Obviously he did not think the same way I did cause that rarely happened. Once again I went back in front of the judge and told him the drama he was exposing my kids to when he did have them. He would always talk bad about myself and my boyfriend to them. So when they came home on sundays they were cold to us. Almost as if we had done something wrong. The judge decided it was best if he only had supervised visits from a CYS case worker. It was his responsibility to set these up. Something he still has not done to this day. He still calls me every once in awhile and asks how the kids are. Thoughtful right? Wrong! Calling at midnight to check on the welfare of your children is not acceptable. His family does not seem to quite get it either. They like to call him when they have my kids and invite him down to see them. Which as you know now is against the court order. I am ready to say just @#$% it all and cut them all off. We do just fine without any of them.
That is an example of just one dead beat dad out there. I am sure there are plenty more and there is no shortage of women who struggle to make it on their own. Yet some women who actually have a wonderful dad for their kids just can't seem to see it. My boyfriend is a great dad to his two kids. He pays his support, calls them everyday at the same time to see how they are. Not to mention he gets them every weekend without fail. He would love to get them more but his ex won't allow it. To her life is about money and material things. She thinks money buys happiness. If she needs something she thinks she can just call him and demand it. Now if it was something that was really needed he would have no problem but she demands things just so she doesn't have to use her support to actually support the kids. That is her spending money. How else does a woman who works half the year at maybe ten dollars and hour afford a new wardrobe every season. I will tell you how by living off of others. Yet she loves to cry poor and play the victim. She uses her kids as pawns in a game. They are nothing more than an accessory to her. It bothers me even more that she acts like this because of what I deal with on a regular basis with the father of my first four kids. I would love for her to really know what it is like to raise kids all alone. I haven't bought a new wardrobe since my parents took me shopping for new school clothes! My life is all about my kids. With or without their dad in the picture. Don't get me wrong I would love for my children to have a healthy relationship with their dad. Unfortunately that is just not going to happen anytime soon. I suppose it is hard to appreciate the things you have until they are gone. I just hope someday his ex can wake up and see what a wonderful person he is. I have given up hope on my ex. Life could always be worse. She could have my childrens father. I am thankful everyday for the life I have and wouldn't want it any other way. Life has been worse for me and I will never go back to that.